Entry 30- God’s Unconditional Love in Our Foolish Moments

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

Sometimes we’re reminded of moments from our past that leave us thinking, “Wait, I did what?” This happened to me recently when my mum casually mentioned a story from my childhood. Apparently, when I was around 4 or 5, I opened the car door while we were driving on the motorway! Now, I have no memory of this (thankfully, I was too young), but just the thought of it left me wondering, "How did I survive that?!" 

It got me thinking about all the times in life when I’ve found myself in situations that were just as risky, both intentional and unintentional. Whether it’s staying too long in a bad situation or making choices without fully thinking them through, I’ve been in some foolish positions. And yet, despite all of that, God’s love has never wavered. Even when I opened the “doors” that led to dangerous or unwise outcomes, He was always there, ready to pull me back to safety.

We all have stories like this—moments where, if we’re being honest, we wonder what on earth we were thinking. The beauty of our relationship with God is that His love for us isn’t based on our perfect decision-making or our ability to avoid foolish mistakes. It’s based on His grace.

Think about the story of Jonah. Jonah tried to run from God’s calling, and in doing so, found himself in the belly of a great fish. But even in Jonah’s disobedience, God pursued him, rescued him, and still used him to fulfill His purpose (Jonah 1-3). That’s how much God desires us, despite the times we take wrong turns.

There have been times when I’ve stubbornly tried to fix situations on my own, ignoring God’s guidance. And every time, I’ve ended up in more trouble than when I started. But here’s the amazing part: God doesn’t abandon us in our messes. Psalm 103:14 tells us, “For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.”

God’s love for us isn’t dependent on our ability to “get it right.” Even in our moments of weakness and foolishness, He remains faithful. He knows we’ll make mistakes—sometimes big ones—but He is always ready to redeem those moments and draw us closer to Him.

It’s easy to feel unworthy of love when we think about all the times we’ve fallen short. Yet God’s love is unconditional. He doesn’t just love the "best" version of us, but the flawed, imperfect version too. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul reminds us that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. It’s in those moments of failure and foolishness that God’s grace shines the brightest.

So, whether it’s opening a car door on the motorway or making decisions that lead to regret, remember this: God still wants you. He loves you more than you can imagine, and nothing you’ve done—or will do—can separate you from that love.

Think of a time when you found yourself in a foolish or unwise situation. How was God’s love and faithfulness revealed to you in that moment? How does knowing that God’s love is unconditional bring you comfort today?

Dear Lord,  

Thank You for loving me in all my messes, both past and present. I may not always make the best choices, but I know that Your love never fails. Help me to trust You, even when I’m tempted to go my own way. Thank You for always being there, ready to catch me when I fall. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 29- No Matter What, God is Still God.

Life has a funny way of humbling us, doesn't it? We stroll through our days thinking we’ve got it all figured out, only to trip over our own feet—and sometimes, our own words. But here’s the good news: no matter what we do, no matter what we say, no matter what we think, God is still God, and thankfully, He’s not keeping score of our awful mishaps.

Imagine this (close your eyes and imagine it), you’re at work, and it’s been one of those days where everything feels just a bit off. You’re typing up an email to a coworker, casually venting about how frustrating this week has been. As you finish your mini rant, you go to send it to your work BFF… and then realize you’ve sent it to your boss instead. 

Cue the panic. You immediately regret every life choice that led to this point. You start drafting an apology email while simultaneously considering if it’s too late to move to a remote village with no Wi-Fi. 

Just as you’re about to hit send on your apology, your boss replies, “No worries, I get it—let’s chat when you’ve cooled down. Your green smoothie is on me.” Suddenly, the world doesn’t feel like it’s ending, and you realize something profound: God was still in control, even when you hit the wrong “send” button.

We’ve all been there, right? Those moments where we’re convinced we’ve messed up beyond repair, only to be reminded that God doesn’t operate like we do. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” 

This means that whether we’re nailing our day or accidentally sending ranty emails to the boss, God’s grace and love remain constant. He doesn’t get flustered by our slip-ups; in fact, He’s probably chuckling along with us.

It’s easy to believe that our mistakes can change how God sees us. But the truth is, God’s not sitting up in heaven tallying up our bloopers. Romans 8:38-39 reassures us that nothing, not even our most cringe-worthy moments, “will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So, whether you’re accidentally emailing your boss or just having one of those days where everything feels off, remember that God’s love is as unshakeable as ever. He’s got a great sense of humor too.

So, next time you find yourself in a cringe-worthy situation, just laugh it off. God is still God, and He’s got your back—even when you hit the wrong button.

Dear Lord, 

thank You for being unchanging, even when we’re a hot mess. Help us laugh at our own mistakes and remember that Your love isn’t dependent on our performance. Give us the grace to navigate life’s awkward moments with a smile, knowing that You’re always in control. And next time we accidentally send an email to the wrong person, remind us that You’ve got it all covered. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Entry 28- Tuning in to God in the Midst of the "Noise"

Living close to a church in Accra often feels like an exercise in patience. The spirited singing, the overly loud preaching and let’s not forget the all-night vigils—these can all seem a little disruptive to the peace we crave at home. Yet, in moments of reflection (While listening to the praise session from the church down my street), I’ve come to see these very “disruptions” as God’s way of positioning me exactly where I need to be.

Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Sometimes, the places where we feel the most discomfort are the very places where God is working the most in us. It is in these spaces of inconvenience that He draws us nearer to Him, shaping us for His glory- Read that again, HIS GLORY, not your, not mine, HIS GLORY!

Take living close to a church, for example. What might seem like an endless parade of noise can actually be seen as God placing us in a constant state of worship. The sounds of praise can become the backdrop to our spiritual lives, especially when our spirits are down. Instead of viewing it as a nuisance, it becomes a daily invitation to reconnect with God, to praise, to pray, and to worship.

Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

When I’m feeling down, those moments when the sounds of worship seep into my home become precious opportunities to enter into God’s peace. It’s as if He’s saying, “Here I am, come to me.” And as I respond, I find that my burdens become lighter, and my connection with Him grows stronger.

What may seem like an inconvenience could be God’s divine arrangement. Living close to a church, with all its noise and activity, can become a blessing in disguise—a constant reminder of God’s presence and an ever-present call to worship and draw near to Him. So, let’s embrace where God has positioned us, knowing that He is always working for our good—even if it means investing in some good earplugs!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for placing me exactly where I need to be, even when it feels inconvenient or downright noisy. I’m learning to appreciate the early morning ‘wake-up calls’ from the church next door—though a little more sleep wouldn’t hurt, Lord, if You’re taking requests! Help me to see Your purpose in every situation, and to embrace the places where You have positioned me, even if it’s right next to the loudest choir in Accra.

When my spirit is down, remind me that the joyful noise outside is an invitation to connect with You. Give me the grace to find humor in the early morning praises and the strength to join in when my energy is low. May the sounds of worship that surround me be a constant reminder of Your presence and Your unfailing love—especially when they start at 4 a.m.!

Teach me to praise You in all circumstances, to find peace in Your presence, and to trust in Your perfect plan. And if it’s not too much to ask, maybe just a little quieter after work?

In Jesus’ name, I pray.

Amen

Entry 27- When Love Visits Again

After a couple of men came my way, I came to the realization that each relationship came with a side of juice I never ordered- this was literally every time love knocked at my door. 

I used to joke with my friends that I had a Ph.D. in relationship anxiety.  At the end of each relationship, there was always disappointment, or a red flag waving so hard it could start a parade. By the time I reached my last breakup, I was ready to swear off love altogether (technically, I did)—like, “Let’s just skip to the part where I get a cat and name him Mr. Whiskers.” Like in the cartoon "Brandi and Mr. Whiskers" remember that one?

But despite all that, I knew I still wanted love- (I LOVE LOVE). Not just any love, though. I started praying for a love that was different—a love that came with peace, security, and none of the emotional acrobatics I had become so used to. I wanted the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7— “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…” You know, the kind of love that actually feels like a warm cup of tea on a cold day.

So, I prayed. And waited. And prayed some more.

And guess what? Love hasn’t visited yet. But you know what has? Hope. I’ve learned to trust God’s timing (even though I’ve definitely asked Him to speed it up a few times—no shame). In this season of waiting, I’m reminded of Psalm 27:14: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Instead of worrying about when love will arrive, I’m focusing on becoming the woman God is shaping me to be.

Some days, I catch myself wondering if I’ll be single forever, and then I laugh at how my imagination spirals—like, "Well, maybe Mr. Whiskers and I can start a cozy tea shop and call it ‘Whiskers and Waffles.’” But then I remember that God knows my heart better than I do. He knows the love I need, and as Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me, He has “plans to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give [me] hope and a future.” I’m holding onto that hope, believing that when love visits again, it will be God-sent—a safe space filled with grace, joy, and maybe even a little humor.

For now, I wait with hope, trusting that love will come in Gods perfect timing. Until then, I’m keeping my sense of humor handy—and Mr. Whiskers on standby, just in case. (just kidding)

Father,  

I know you’ve got a plan; I can see it and I am excited to manifest it. While I wait for the love You have for me, help me to keep my heart hopeful and my spirit light. Guide me to become the person You’ve called me to be. Remind me that as I trust you, my heart is in good hands. And when love visits again, it will reflect Your peace, joy, and safety. Amen.

Entry 26- Our Red Flags Don’t Define Us; God’s Grace Does.

Society has taught us that once we hear the word RED FLAG, we should run for the hills—in dating, that is.

But after going through a series of noticing red flags in myself (shocker, a woman admitting she was in the wrong), I spoke to my pastor and then to a therapist. They both helped me realize the importance of noticing red flags early and how these signs are actually opportunities to become a better person, not just for others but for me.

We often think of red flags as signals to avoid others, but how often do we recognize them within ourselves? Society tells us to flee at the sight of these warning signs in others, but what if we shifted our perspective? What if, instead of running, we paused, reflected, and allowed God to work through these moments?

In Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV), Jesus asks, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." This passage reminds us to look inward first, to acknowledge and address our own shortcomings before we point fingers at others.

Red flags within ourselves are not meant to condemn us, but to guide us towards growth and transformation. They are like spiritual warning lights, prompting us to examine areas in our lives where we need to seek God’s grace and wisdom. Instead of running from these revelations, we should embrace them, asking God to refine us and mold us into the people He has called us to be.

In Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV), David prays, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." This should be our prayer as well. When we notice red flags in ourselves—whether it’s pride, anger, selfishness, or any other area where we fall short—we should invite God to search our hearts, to reveal what needs to change, and to lead us on the path of righteousness.

Recognizing red flags in ourselves is not a moment of defeat but a powerful opportunity for growth. It’s an invitation to humble ourselves before God, to seek His forgiveness, and to allow His Spirit to work in us. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) reminds us, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" We have the promise of transformation in Christ. Our red flags don’t define us; God’s grace does.

So, instead of running for the hills when we spot a red flag, let’s run to God. Let’s ask Him to help us become better versions of ourselves—more loving, patient, kind, and Christ-like.

Embrace the journey of self-reflection, and remember, God is with you every step of the way. Red flags are not the end; they are the beginning of a new chapter in your walk with Him.

Lord, thank You for Your patience with me. Help me to recognize the red flags within myself and see them as opportunities for growth. Search my heart, reveal what needs to change, and guide me in Your ways. 

May I become more like Christ each day, reflecting Your love and grace to those around me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Entry 25- When is Your Devotional Coming Out?

It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I can count: “So, when is your devotional coming out?” Each time it comes up, it stirs something deep within me. I’ve known for a while that I’m supposed to write a book. But the content? That’s where I find myself stuck. 

I often find myself asking, is this desire from God, or is it from within me? Am I doing this to receive praise, or am I truly seeking to glorify God through my work? Do I want to be seen, or do I want God to be seen through what I create? These are the questions that flood my mind, keeping me up at night as I wrestle with my calling.

But the most important question I’ve learned to ask—one that I often ask others when they come to me for advice—is this: “What is God saying regarding this situation?”

When I turn to Scripture, I’m reminded of the profound difference between our ways and God’s ways. Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” 

This verse has a way of humbling us, doesn’t it? It reminds us that God’s plans and purposes are far beyond our understanding. His ways are infinitely higher, His thoughts immeasurably greater. We may have ideas and desires that seem good to us, but without His guidance, they can lead us astray. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 offers further wisdom, encouraging us to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” It’s a call to surrender, to lay down our own understanding and trust that God will lead us in the right direction.

So, how do we discern if a desire or calling is from God? It starts with prayer and seeking His will above all else. It’s about laying our plans before Him and asking Him to make our paths straight. It’s about being open to His leading, even when it takes us in directions we didn’t anticipate.

For me, that means continually asking God to purify my intentions. Lord, am I doing this for You, or am I seeking validation? Is this project about glorifying Your name or am I trying to make a name for myself? These are difficult questions, but they’re necessary if we want to walk in alignment with God’s will.

I may not have all the answers yet, but I’m learning to trust in God’s timing and direction. I don’t know when or how my devotional will come together, but I trust that God will reveal it in His time. Until then, I’ll keep seeking His guidance, trusting that as I submit my ways to Him, He will make my path straight.

So, when is my devotional coming out? I can’t say for certain. But what I do know is that, when it does, it will be because God has led me every step of the way. And that’s more than enough for me.

If you’re in a similar place, wondering if your dreams and desires are from God, I invite you to join me in this prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You with a heart full of questions. I desire to serve You and glorify Your name, but I often find myself unsure of the path You want me to take. Help me to discern Your voice clearly. Guide my thoughts and actions so that they align with Your will. Let my work be a reflection of Your glory, and not my own. Teach me to trust in Your ways, even when they are beyond my understanding. I surrender my plans to You, knowing that Your ways are higher, and Your thoughts are greater. 

May everything, I do be for Your praise and Your glory. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Entry 24- Waiting for a Sunny Day

It's a new month, and JULY was everything she promised to be. If you disagree, go and argue with your grandfather. LOL.

Anyway, how have your "new year resolutions" been going? Has the sarcasm used in relation to new year resolutions given you an idea of what I am writing about yet?

Let's get straight into it.

We always hear people say that they are waiting for a sunny day to get things done. They are waiting for a new month to start working out. They are waiting for a new week to start putting their proposals together for that new business. And by the time they realize it, the rainy days lasted so long that they forgot their pledges to themselves. Have you been there? I know I have and decided yesterday I wasn't going to wait any longer to start working out. I can't say the same with my art, but I will be starting real soon.

What does God say about procrastinating though? What does He say about leaving things to start at a later date?

Procrastination is a challenge we all face. The Bible addresses this with wisdom and guidance. Proverbs 6:6-8 (NIV) says, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest." This passage highlights the importance of diligence and taking action without delay.

In James 4:13-15 (NIV), it says, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" This reminds us that our time is not guaranteed, and we should not put off what we can do today.

God calls us to live purposefully and take action in the present. Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NIV) warns, "Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap." If we wait for perfect conditions, we may never accomplish what we set out to do.

So, let's stop waiting for the perfect moment. The time to act is now. Start that workout, begin that project, pick up that hobby. Let's honor God with our diligence and commitment to make the most of the time we have.

Remember, you don't have to do it all at once. Small, consistent steps lead to great progress. Let's break free from procrastination and embrace the present with determination and faith.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the gift of today. Help us to break free from procrastination and embrace the tasks before us with diligence and enthusiasm. Guide us to act with purpose, making the most of the time You have given us. May our efforts honor You and bring glory to Your name. 

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Entry 23- Why I learnt to speak Ga

When people ask me how I speak Ga, I always laugh because the reasons for being intentional about it were foolish but worthy ones- If I do say so myself. LOL.

Out and about in London with my cousin, we were chatting away, catching up, and laughing about everything in sight. As this older lady got off the bus, she mentioned that it would be best to speak in a language foreign to many because everyone knew what we were chatting about. My cousin and I looked at each other, looked around at the people on the bus, looked back at the aunty, and said, "Thank you, aunty," before going mute for a hot second.

We blurted out laughing right after because the nice lady was right, and it was in that moment that I decided I was going to have my cousin teach me how to speak Ga. And, ladies and gentlemen, that is how a Fante woman picked up the language—obviously for kokonsa reasons.

Why have I shared this story? Go back and read it again; I will wait.

You still don't get it? Okay, you may continue reading.

The Bible encourages intentional living, urging us to make purposeful decisions and live with clarity and direction. Proverbs 4:26 advises, "Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways." Similarly, Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us to "be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity." Living intentionally means aligning our actions with God's will, seeking wisdom, and making the most of the time and resources given to us.

This story illustrates that even seemingly trivial decisions can have meaningful outcomes when approached with intention and awareness. What started as a lighthearted moment with my cousin became a valuable skill and a way to connect more deeply with my family. It’s a reminder that being intentional, even in the small things, can lead to unexpected and enriching results.

In the same way, the Bible teaches us to be deliberate in our actions, understanding that our choices shape our lives and reflect our faith. By living purposefully, we honor God and make the most of the opportunities He provides. So, whether it's learning a new language for fun or making significant life decisions, do it with intention and trust that God will guide your path.

As I have come to learn, Nyɔmɔ ajɔɔ bo!


Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the gift of life and the wisdom Your Word provides. Help us to live intentionally, making purposeful decisions that honor You. Guide our steps, Lord, and give us clarity and direction in all we do. May we seek Your will, use our time wisely, and be steadfast in our faith. Grant us the discernment to make the most of every opportunity and the courage to align our actions with Your divine plan.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Entry 22- Looking for Sadness

Have you ever tried to intentionally feel sad? Like you're sifting through your emotions like a filing system, looking for the folder labeled "Sad"? I can tell you; I have—and it’s quite amusing when you realize God has already helped you move past it.

A couple of days ago, I was going through a tough time. I realized I was in a shallow place and had distanced myself from God. I was trying to handle situations on my own that God had already taken care of. This only made me feel worse.

The Bible says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Yet, I was burdening myself with things God had already addressed.

After an intense conversation with my friend, who is a doctor, I understood I was being childish. They reminded me of Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I realized that everything has been dealt with in eternity. God has a plan for us, as stated in Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Understanding this, I felt a sense of peace and joy, knowing that God's got this. Romans 8:28 assures us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So, next time you find yourself digging through that emotional filing system, remember that God has already taken care of it. Trust in Him and let go of your worries. Everything truly has been dealt with in eternity.

If you're going through a period of uncertainty, doubt, fear and anxiety, do pray this prayer.

Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heart heavy with fear and anxiety. I cast all my burdens and worries upon You, knowing that You care for me deeply. Strengthen me, Lord, and uphold me with Your righteous right hand. Remind me of Your promises and fill me with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to trust in Your perfect plan and find rest in Your everlasting arms. Thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 21- Thank God for the COVID-19 Lockdown Pt.1

Through the chaos and uncertainty of the COVID-19 season, I stumbled upon an unexpected reset that I didn't know I needed. The world had slowed down, forcing me to reconnect with the simple joys of life that I'd often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of pre-pandemic days.

I spent, quality time with my family. We had endless bonding sessions, from braiding my sisters' hair to hosting cozy movie nights that often turned into impromptu dance parties. We tried our hands at new recipes, some successful and others... well, let’s just say they were learning experiences. Even the moments of shared boredom became special as we found comfort in each other's company.

On a more personal level, I dedicated time to working out alone, rediscovering my passion for fitness, and watching my health improve. This period also deepened my relationship with God. Initially, I prayed out of fear and uncertainty, but over time, prayer became my sanctuary, my special, happy place. I curated a "Dear God" playlist filled with soulful tunes that accompanied me through every activity. Immersing myself in the Bible app and joining Christian rooms on Clubhouse became part of my daily routine. Remember when everyone suddenly became a thought leader on every topic? Yeah, that part of the COVID season, I could have done without.

In the midst of all this, something "wholly" and unexpected happened—I found love. It still amazes me how, during a time of global isolation, I connected with someone so deeply online. Any man who could capture my full attention without ever meeting in person was definitely someone special. Let's laugh—1,2,3 L.O.L!

Our connection began on Twitter, or as it's now known, "X." It all started with one of those online games, the kind that sparks light-hearted banter and endless conversations. As we talked every day, what started as a distraction from the monotony of lockdown life blossomed into an unexpected relationship. Mind you, dating was the last thing on my mind; I had sworn off men for good- I should've stayed that way but hey, we thank God for unexpected experiences.

Then came the unexpected phone call that changed everything. It was during this call that I realized he was my person. As soon as the restrictions on outdoor activities were lifted, I couldn't wait to see him in person. The anticipation of that long drive, the thought of finally being with him, filled me with a joy I hadn't felt in a long time. To a woman in love, what was a long drive? Absolutely nothing!

To the one reading this, I pray you immerse yourself in unexpected experiences.

Remember God can use anyone, anything and any situation to teach us lessons and turn our lives around. Even when we think He is not working, He is at work- I pray you never forgot that no matter how difficult it gets.

Amen

Entry 20- Losing to Gain

Lately, I've been writing a lot. Some might wonder if I'm okay. The answer is yes (took a couple of days to come to this realization to be very honest). I'm more than okay—I'm growing, reflecting, and realigning my focus. There's a lesson in this for all of us, especially as Christians navigating a world full of opinions and expectations.

If I don’t write, it’s a problem. If I write, it’s still a problem. This made me realize something profound: no matter what I do, I can't please everyone. And that's okay. As a Christian woman, my worth isn’t dictated by the approval of others. Instead, it lies in the unchanging love of God.

We live in a world where external validation is often prioritized. But our focus should be on the One who loves us unconditionally. Whether we’re producing or not, His love remains steadfast. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to produce or achieve. As children of God, we are called to fulfill His perfect will. But it means our motivation and self-worth shouldn’t hinge on worldly approval.

In the past few days, I've had a real awakening. It's a reminder to fix our gaze on the King and move accordingly. When we align ourselves with God's purpose, we find true fulfillment. We should focus on living out His mandate, producing fruit in line with His will, and not getting lost in the noise of external expectations.

This journey of realignment and focus isn’t easy, but it's worth it. By focusing on God and His love for us, we find strength, purpose, and peace. We learn to produce not for the applause of the world but for the glory of the King.

So, whether you're writing, creating, or simply living day by day, remember this: your value is in God’s love. 

To the one reading this, fix yourself! I pray you focus on the King and move forward in His perfect will. Do not be hard on yourself. Please embrace the journey of growth and let your life be a testament to His unending love and grace.

Amen.

Entry 19- God & Therapy

Today, I took a significant step towards more healing by booking a therapy session. 

Did I break down? Yes, I did. 

Did I understand why? Yes. 

Did I want to be there? Not really. 

I kept telling myself I was fine for the past two years, convincing myself repeatedly.

I realized today that I miss the innocence of dating, a time when I had few insecurities, fears, or doubts. I could fall in love completely and enjoy the process—then adulthood and heartbreak changed everything.

Many Christians are hesitant about seeking therapy, believing that faith in God should suffice. Ed Stetzer, a Christian blogger and author, points out that churches often treat mental health issues differently, assuming it stems from only deeper spiritual struggles.

The truth is that mental and spiritual struggles are interconnected. We are complex beings, intricately connected in spirit, soul, body, and mind. If we dismiss mental health issues and attribute them solely to spiritual deficiencies, we risk committing spiritual abuse.

It's easy to blame my past for everything that has happened, but I know I need to take responsibility and move forward. I must let go of the past and allow God to guide my steps. It's time to be intentional, patient, and surrender everything to God.

To whoever is reading this, I pray you find healing from your painful past. 

I pray you can function without the burden of overthinking. I pray you live your life with God as your guide. I pray you release the guilt from past mistakes. You are loved and deserve to be loved.

Amen.

Entry 18- Lesson Learnt

I learned something new today about self-perception and how others perceive us. Thinking too highly of oneself elevates us above others in importance, making others’ needs, gifts, ideas, and positions seem less vital. This kind of thinking has often caused issues within the church.

Equally dangerous, however, is seeing oneself too lowly. From personal experience, I’ve allowed myself to believe I am unattractive and unworthy of compliments. There is a sort of “feigned lowliness” that is more common than genuine self-loathing among believers.

Lately, I’ve been filling conversations with phrases like, “I’m so fat,” “I’m so stupid,” and “I couldn’t possibly contribute,” subconsciously fishing for compliments. This is a form of pride that seeks validation through forced praise. It becomes clear that this is feigned lowliness by the small, small anger that arises when someone refuses to engage or agrees with these negative assessments.

However, some individuals genuinely view themselves in a sinfully low light. Inactivity in spiritual matters fueled by feelings of worthlessness is also sinful. After all, hasn’t the Lord empowered each believer with spiritual gifts meant to build up the local body and glorify His Name? We must not despise the gift or the Giver through wrong thinking.

These insights came to me during two very different interactions I had while out with my mum. One made me question myself, and the other made me realize how amazing I am. But then I wondered, is this from God or from self? I later had another conversation with my mum about trauma and triggers, which I will share when led—please, we do as led over here. LOL.

To the person reading this, I pray you see your worth as God sees it. 

I pray you avoid bringing yourself down by focusing on yourself and the world.

May God our Father give us eyes to see and appreciate His creation as He does. May the spirit of self-first be removed from us today.

Amen.

Entry 17- An Addiction

"N, you've been gone for over a year. Are you okay?"

Maybe you haven't been wondering about this, but I thought you might have missed me. In any case, there's something I've been dying to tell you for over a year, and I just didn't know how to start. Here goes nothing...

Humans can become addicted to things or people. Addictions often start as habits; I'm no scientist, but this is something I've seen, lived through, and experienced from an outside perspective. It makes me wonder how we end up relying on things or people as if our lives depend on them. I've watched documentaries where abusers couldn't let go of their victims. I've met men I couldn't go a day without talking to, even though I didn't want to date them (don't ask, I've been through it before). I've also met men who couldn't go weeks without using drugs. 

Imagine planning a wedding, looking forward to spending forever with your person, and then finding out they are addicted to coke. You’re not even sure if it’s crack or cocaine. The adrenaline coursing through my veins as I climbed the stairs to confront my ex was fueled by fear. My heart raced, my thoughts were scattered, and countless questions swirled in my mind. The first question that escaped my lips was, "Were you going to raise our children with this in our home?" Out of all the things I could have asked, this was the one that came to mind first. We were supposed to be starting a new chapter together, with children and all the dreams a husband-and-wife share. Instead, I stood there, watching everything I had worked hard for crumble before my eyes.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The nights he claimed to be depressed, the nights he wanted to be alone, and the nights he didn’t feel well and needed to rest—they all added up now. I understood why we rarely dressed up and went out with our friends or on dates. His addiction had been the silent saboteur of our relationship, and I had been too blind to see it.

This post feels as chaotic as my mind was a couple of years ago. Will I return to share more details? I have no idea. 

The signs are always there. God is always speaking, using people and our current situations, but I was too blinded by love to recognize my reality. Perhaps I wanted the relationship so desperately that I failed to see it was falling apart.

Reflecting on it now, I realize how deep in denial I was. Love can be blinding, making it difficult to see the truth, even when it’s right in front of us. I was so focused on building a future that I ignored the cracks forming in our present. It’s a painful lesson, but one that has opened my eyes to the importance of being aware, of listening to the signs, and of understanding that true love doesn’t come with such devastating secrets.

To the person reading this, I pray you see as God wants you to see.

I pray you avoid delays because you're acting by your will and not of Gods will.

May God our Father give us eyes to see and appreciate His plans for us. May all addictions be broken today, and may we be directed to have faith that allows us to want what our dear Father in Heaven wants for us.

Amen.