Entry 7- No, it isn't what it is!

Yea, you must forgive me but part two of my previous post will be delayed a bit, not because I don't want to share it but really and truly, it isn't ready- AT ALL! Lol.

Anyways, you know about the 'It is what it is' meme right? Probably seen it or heard not once, not twice but from a few people repeating that statement over and over, it's gotten to the point of annoyance? 

Yea, you're not alone!

it-is-what-it-is: meaning said thing or a particular situation has its own distinct nature; this thing/situation is itself. The circumstance is simply a fact and MUST be accepted or dealt with as it exists.

For a couple of months now, I have been getting better at my relationship with God. This has translated into the kinds of conversations I have with friends, family and strangers even. 

It's had an impact on my lifestyle and my choices lately. 

It's gotten to a point where I am re-evaluating my life and I'm asking myself why I allowed certain things to happen when I could've either avoided them or made different choices while I lived in that moment. 

*insert your own 'it is what it is' scenarios here*

Now, ask yourself these questions:

Why did I accept, in a lot of situations that I found myself in, that 'it is what it is'?

Why did I shrug and be like yup, it is what it is? 

Why did I not try to change the situation or even try to make it better, for not just me, but for the other person or people involved?

Most of us know the part of the Serenity prayer that says "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

This phrase is asking us to accept certain things that we cannot change by ourselves, we need the Grace of God to do that. It even goes on to encourage us to ask God for courage, wisdom... So who are we to just sit back and accept that it is what it is when, we have a God who can show us the way to change our lives for the better? 

The Serenity Prayer,

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

Entry 6- Necessary Therapy 1

“I must have ‘mug’ written across my forehead cos wow…”

The words I tweeted, then deleted after I finally let go of a man I thought was my one- I know what you’re thinking. “What the hell? Not another girl with a heart broken over just a man.” Was I right? No? Not even close? Shoot I did try… But yea, this isn’t going to be one of those sad stories about how ‘I’ve been hurt’ & all men are trash; this is going to be more of a ‘I’m glad it happened' type of thing.

Still don’t get it? Let me ask a quick one (or two or three); Answer these three honestly...

• You ever look back and finally accept the way things didn’t go a certain way?
• You ever noticed the red flags… only after all the goodbyes were said and done?
• You ever asked yourself 'so what exactly did I waste a year for?'

I’ve asked myself these questions too and here is why this is different:

In a year and some, I found God again- AHA! You can’t say she only found God after getting her heart broken.

But all jokes aside this man actually helped me find God again at the beginning of our friendship and I will forever be grateful. Must have been why I thought I had to keep him around. A part of me thinking I owed him because he reintroduced me to God.

I finally accepted that, that was his role coming into my life; I just fell for him- maybe more than I should have.

Not saying falling for him was a bad thing either, it really wasn’t because at the end of the day, it made me realize my worth and why I shouldn’t settle moving forward- His part was done, so why was I trying to force him to be my person when that wasn’t his role to play?

Imagine if he’d finally accepted to want me the way I wanted him to; with no blessing from God. Yea, I would’ve been one miserable woman wouldn’t I? 

Keeping up appearances just because I finally got what I always wanted.

Yes at a point I could see us getting married and having babies and our dogs being besties and giving birth to more dogs and having that white picket fence around our little house out in the country side… a girl can only dream, am I right?

But when God hasn’t ordained something for you, it just won’t work out.

I know how I want to be loved and no, loving me doesn’t include spending all your life savings or buying me every expensive thing in the shop. For N, it’s the thought and the time that goes into whatever it is that counts the most. 

Seeing your face a few times a week and hearing you whisper those sweet nothings makes her beam like a little girl seeing her school crush on the first day of school.

So when such things went unnoticed and I was in my head a lot, it made me question my worth- Was I not good enough to be loved the way I thought I deserved? 

I questioned God, asking why He’d send a man who didn’t get me- forgetting that the God I serve would never send someone to give me sadder days than happier days.

(To be continued)