Entry 41- Consideration: What We Take In Shapes Us

Ever found yourself debating whether to text your ex just to see if they’ve "changed"? Or convincing yourself that buying another plant is a responsible life choice? (Because, obviously, more oxygen.) What we consider—whether it’s relationships, decisions, or that second slice of cake—ends up shaping us- literally.

Think of your heart like an exclusive club. Not everyone and everything should get past security.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Translation? If we keep letting just anything in—overthinking, negativity, unsolicited relationship advice from that one auntie—we’ll be spiritually exhausted before we know it.

I once convinced myself that responding to a "Hey, stranger" text from my ex was the mature thing to do. Turns out, it was the "let’s re-enter a cycle of unnecessary drama" thing to do. We often consider things based on emotions rather than wisdom. But Romans 12:2 reminds us to renew our minds so we can discern what’s actually good—and not just emotionally convenient.

Setting boundaries is like finally putting a password on your Wi-Fi. If you let just anyone connect, they’ll drain your energy and slow you down. Jesus had boundaries—He loved people, but He also took time to rest, pray, and escape crowds when needed. If He needed boundaries, we definitely do too.

What we consider, we eventually act on. Keep entertaining fear? You’ll never take a leap of faith. Keep dwelling on past hurt? Healing will stay on hold. Keep making excuses for people? You’ll keep getting hurt. But when we consider God’s Word first, our emotions, decisions, and relationships start to align in ways we never imagined.

Lord, help me to filter what I take in and focus on what truly matters. Teach me to consider Your wisdom before my emotions, to guard my heart like a bouncer at an exclusive club, and to make decisions that align with Your will. And if I ever think about texting my ex again, please let my phone mysteriously die. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 40- Why Do I Keep Ending Up Here?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation—whether in relationships, friendships, or even at work—where you think, "How did I end up here… again?" You swore you'd never entertain another emotionally unavailable person, but here you are, decoding mixed signals like it’s your full-time job. You promised yourself you’d stop overcommitting to things that drain you, yet your calendar is packed with obligations you resent.

That’s the thing about emotional capacity, maturity, and patterns. If we don’t recognize our limits, grow through our experiences, and break cycles, we’ll keep running the same exhausting race—just with different scenery.

Just like you wouldn’t keep pouring water into an overflowing cup (unless you like cleaning up messes), you can’t keep stretching yourself emotionally without consequences.

Luke 5:16 tells us, "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." If Jesus, the actual Son of God, needed time to refill and refocus, why do we think we can handle everything without pausing?

Signs You’re Exceeding Your Emotional Capacity:

• You feel drained, but you keep pushing yourself.
• You’re easily irritated by people you usually love.
• You struggle to focus or enjoy the present.
• You start resenting the very things you once prayed for.

Expanding Emotional Capacity:

• Learn to say no (without the guilt).
• Prioritize rest and reflection.
• Ask for help and support when needed.
• Pray and reset—your emotions shouldn’t run the show.

Maturity isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s about managing them wisely. It’s recognising when you're about to spiral into old habits and choosing a better response.

For example, I used to be the Queen of Overthinking. If someone took too long to text back, my mind immediately wrote a 3-part drama series: They lost interest. I did something wrong. I’ll die alone. But then I realised that maturity looks like pausing before assuming.

Signs You’re Growing in Emotional Maturity:

• You communicate instead of shutting down.
• You let things go instead of holding grudges.
• You recognize when something is about them, not you.
• You stop letting fear dictate your decisions.

My favourite biblical example is Joseph. His brothers literally sold him into slavery (Genesis 37:28). If anyone had a reason to hold onto anger, it was him. But instead of letting resentment define his life, he chose wisdom, healing, and eventually reconciliation. Now, that’s maturity.

Emotional patterns are tricky. We don’t always notice we’re stuck in them until we’re in yet another situation that looks eerily familiar.

Some Common Patterns:

• Dating the same type of person in a different package.
• Overcommitting and then resenting it.
• Avoiding conflict and then feeling unheard.
• Seeking validation from people who never give it.

Breaking patterns means recognizing where things went wrong before and choosing differently. It’s asking God to reveal the cycles we keep repeating and giving us the strength to walk away from what isn’t for us.

Steps to Break a Pattern:

1. Identify the cycle – What keeps repeating in your relationships, habits, or mindset?
2. Find the root – Is it a fear of abandonment? A need for validation?
3. Choose differently – Say no when you’d usually say yes. Set a boundary where you’d normally fold.
4. Let God lead – Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." You won’t always understand why God is redirecting you, but trust Him anyway.

Becoming emotionally mature isn’t about never struggling again. It’s about recognising when you’re slipping into old patterns and choosing a different response. It’s about knowing your limits, setting boundaries, and letting God shape your heart.

And honestly? It’s about giving yourself the grace to grow, one step at a time.

Lord, help me recognise my emotional limits and honour them. Give me the wisdom to respond instead of react, and the courage to break unhealthy patterns. Grow me in maturity, so I reflect You in all that I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 39- Dusting Off the Cobwebs

So, here I am—back in the dating world after what feels like forever of hurting, healing, praying, hurting, healing, praying (you know the cycle) and somehow convincing myself that Paul’s singleness wasn’t necessarily my calling. I took some time, worked through past heartbreak, and let God do some deep inner work- even though I’ve been stubborn for close to three years.

But now? Now, I’m ready. Ready to date. Ready to love. Ready to awkwardly text, “Hey, how was your day?” to a stranger who might just be the one (or at least a decent one).

But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s talk about the moment I knew I was ready.

There was a time I swore that if I ever ran into my ex, I’d suddenly forget all my Christian values and let pettiness take over. But when it finally happened, I didn’t feel anger, regret, or the need to prove how much I’d “leveled up.” Instead, I felt…peace.

That conversation showed me how much I had grown. I didn’t need closure anymore. I didn’t need an apology (although, let’s be honest, it was nice hearing it). I had already forgiven him (a little) in my heart. And most importantly, I realized that holding onto the pain was only keeping me stuck.

Forgiving him wasn’t just about him—it was about me. It was about freeing my heart to love again, without fear, bitterness, or comparison. And that’s when I knew—I was finally ready.

Now that I’m open to dating intentionally, I’ve realized something: I don’t just want to meet people, I want to actually get to know them. Not just their favorite color or their top three worship songs, but the real, unfiltered them.

Because let’s be honest—anyone can send “good morning” texts and quote Jeremiah 29:11, but not everyone is truly walking with God. I’ve learned that before I get emotionally invested, I need to see the fruit of someone’s life.

So I’m asking the real questions:

• What’s your relationship with God actually like?

• How do you handle conflict?

• What do you value in a relationship?

• Are you kind, or are you just nice when things go your way?

Look, in my past relationships, I compromised on things I shouldn’t have. Not this time. Boundaries aren’t about being difficult—they’re about protecting what matters.

If I say I want to honor God in my dating life, then that means actually honoring Him—not just when it’s convenient. So, I’m standing firm on my values:

• Emotional Boundaries: No trauma-dumping on date two, please. We’re pacing ourselves.

• Spiritual Boundaries: We can pray together, but we’re not skipping accountability.

• Physical Boundaries: Love is patient—so we’re moving accordingly.

If someone can’t respect my boundaries, then they’re not for me. And that’s okay. Because the right person won’t just tolerate them—they’ll honor them.

If I’m being real, a part of me still gets nervous about love. When you’ve been hurt before, stepping back into the dating pool can feel like volunteering as tribute. What if I get hurt again? What if I choose wrong again?

But fear is not my portion. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” That means I date with wisdom, and I also trust that God’s got me.

So here’s my approach: I’ll be open, I’ll be intentional, and I’ll be myself. No forcing connections. No rushing what’s meant to unfold naturally (and if it ends but that’s really my person, we will find a way back to each other). And definitely no lowering my standards just to avoid another wedding season as a guest.

If love is on the way, I’ll welcome it. If not, I’ll keep living, growing, and becoming the best version of myself. Either way, I win.

Lord, as I step back into dating, help me to do it with wisdom, joy, and confidence. Keep my heart guarded but not closed off, and let Your peace guide my decisions. Help me to stand firm in my boundaries and not settle for less than what aligns with Your will. And Lord, if he’s not the one, let it be obvious—like immediate “this ain’t it” obvious. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 38- Because I’ve Been There.

I write because I know what it’s like to feel lost, to have a million thoughts running through your head but no clear direction. I know what it’s like to sit in church, nodding at the sermon, but still feeling like your personal struggles are too specific, too messy, too “not spiritual enough” for anyone to understand.

I’ve scrolled through blogs at midnight, looking for words that make sense of what I was feeling. I’ve listened to testimonies, hoping to hear something that sounded like my very own story so I wouldn’t feel so alone. And when I finally did find those words, they felt like water in a dry place. That’s why I write—so that just maybe, someone else will find the encouragement they’re looking for.

There’s something powerful about knowing you’re not alone. When I share my experiences—whether it’s heartbreak, insecurity, struggling with faith, or just trying to navigate adulthood—I do it because I know someone else is going through the same thing.

In some of my entries, I've written about seasons where I struggled with comparison. I was watching my friends get married, start families, and seem so sure of their lives, while I felt like I was still figuring things out. I didn’t expect much from that post, but then messages started coming in. People telling me, “Wow, I thought I was the only one.” Someone even said, “I felt ashamed to admit this to anyone, but reading this made me feel seen.”

That’s when I realised: our stories have the power to set people free. Jesus taught deep truths through parables because He knew people connect with real-life experiences. And if storytelling was good enough for Jesus, I figure it’s good enough for me too- Not even adding me being a marketing person and all.

I used to think I had to wait until my life was perfect before I could share anything. Like, how could I talk about healing if I was still healing? How could I write about faith if I was still battling doubts?

But then I read Romans 8:28:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

That’s when I realised—God doesn’t just use our victories. He uses our struggles, our pain, our confusion, even our mistakes- When God says ALL, He means ALL THINGS!

I remember going through a heartbreak I thought I’d never recover from. It was the kind of pain that makes you question everything—your worth, your choices, even your faith. I was stuck in a cycle of “What if I had done this differently?” and “Why did God let this happen?” But looking back, I see how much I grew through that experience. I see how God used that season to strengthen me, teach me, and prepare me for something better.

Now, when someone tells me they feel stuck in heartbreak, I don’t just throw Bible verses at them—I walk them through it with real-life experience. Because I know what it’s like. And I know that healing is possible.

I don’t believe God allows us to go through things just for ourselves. Sometimes, our experiences are meant to be someone else’s survival guide.

Maybe that person is you. Maybe you’re struggling with something you think no one else understands. Maybe you’re waiting for permission to believe that healing is possible. Maybe you just need a reminder that God sees you, that you are not forgotten, and that your story is still being written.

So I write. Not because I have all the answers, but because I know what it’s like to need them.

Lord, thank You for every lesson hidden in my struggles. Help me to share my journey with honesty and courage, knowing that my story could be the encouragement someone else needs. Remind me that nothing in my life is wasted in Your hands. Use my words for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 37- Make Prayer a Lifestyle: Not Just for Emergencies

For the longest time, prayer for me was like a fire extinguisher—only used in emergencies. If life was good, I’d throw up a quick “Thank You, Lord” and keep it moving. But the moment things went south? I’d be on my knees, fasting, speaking in tongues I didn’t even know I had.

But I realized something: Prayer isn’t supposed to be a last resort. It’s supposed to be the foundation!

I used to think prayer had to be formal, like a board meeting with God. But Jesus prayed in all kinds of ways—alone, with people, in quiet places, and in the middle of storms (Luke 5:16, Matthew 26:39). Prayer isn’t about fancy words or perfect timing. It’s about staying connected.

Think about a relationship—if you only talk to your friend when you need something, how strong is that friendship? Now imagine doing that with God. No wonder some of us feel distant from Him!

Making Prayer a Lifestyle

1. Start Your Day with It – Before checking your phone, checking in with God sets the tone for the day.

2. Pray Throughout the Day – Stuck in traffic? Talk to God. Cooking? Talk to God. Prayer doesn’t have to be deep every time—sometimes it’s just “Lord, help me not to lose my temper in this meeting.”

3. Make It Personal – God isn’t looking for rehearsed speeches. Be real. If you’re frustrated, tell Him. If you’re excited, share it. Prayer is a relationship, not a ritual.

4. End Your Day with Gratitude – Even if the day was hard, thanking God keeps your heart in the right place.

Prayer isn’t just an event—it’s a lifestyle. Make it as natural as breathing, and you’ll never feel disconnected from God.

A Simple Prayer for Consistency

Lord, help me to seek You daily, not just when I need something. Let prayer be my first response, not my last resort. Teach me to walk with You, talk with You, and trust You in all things. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Entry 36- “I’m Not the Same Person Anymore”

When people ask  me "How does pain change you?" I often look at them in wonder- Not because I have no words but because pain, just like any other experience, changes us to some extent and one must honestly experience it to 'appreciate' the pain

Pain changes you. Whether it’s heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment, or loss, you come out of it different. You don’t laugh as easily, you don’t trust as quickly, and you think twice before opening your heart again.

I used to be the kind of person who saw the best in people no matter what. Then life happened. Friends I trusted let me down, relationships I thought would last forever fell apart, and I found myself questioning everything—including God. Pain has a way of doing that. It shakes you up, makes you reevaluate, and leaves you wondering if you’ll ever be the same again. Spoiler alert: You won’t. But that’s not always a bad thing.

Pain will either break you or build you. I’ve been at the crossroads more times than I can count, trying to decide if I wanted to be the healed, wise version of myself or the bitter, untrusting one who rolls her eyes at love songs.

Take relationships, for example. I once thought I had met “the one” until things crumbled in the worst way. At first, I was angry—angry at him, at myself, and if I’m being honest, at God. Why would He let me love someone who would hurt me? Why didn’t He give me a sign earlier? (He did but you know the vibes LOL)

But then I thought about Joseph. He had every reason to let pain define him. His own brothers sold him into slavery, he was falsely accused, and he spent years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. If anyone had a right to be bitter, it was him. But when he finally saw his brothers again, he told them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20).

What if my heartbreak wasn’t meant to destroy me but to redirect me? What if that pain was positioning me for something better? That’s the hard truth about pain—it forces a choice. You can let it make you bitter, or you can let it refine you. (Clearly I'm choosing the latter & yes, it comes with its struggles- that's why I write.)

What Pain Teaches You

1. Boundaries Are Necessary. Not everyone deserves access to you. Pain teaches you to be intentional about who you let into your life.
2. Healing Requires Surrender. You can’t heal while holding onto resentment. Letting go doesn’t mean what happened was okay—it means you’re choosing you over the weight of that pain.
3. God is Still in Control. Even in the pain, even when it doesn’t make sense, He is working things out for your good. (Romans 8:28)

I look back now and realise that every painful season served a purpose. The failed relationship taught me what love isn’t. The friendships that ended showed me the value of real, lasting connections. The moments I thought would break me were actually building me.

Pain changes you. But with God, it doesn’t have to destroy you. Let it refine you. Let it make you wiser, softer, and stronger.

A Prayer for Healing and Strength

Lord, I don’t want pain to harden me. Help me to heal, not just survive. Remind me that even when I don’t understand, You are still working all things for my good. Turn my pain into purpose. Help me trust again, love again, and believe again. Amen.

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Entry 35- Love, Marriage & the Comparison Trap

 

“When Will It Be My Turn?”

It happens every time—another engagement post, another wedding video, another “just married” couple dancing to your song. And there you are, single, sipping your tea like, Wow, God. That’s crazy.

If you’ve been through heartbreak, the comparison trap is even worse. You’re not just wondering when you’ll meet your person—you’re battling the fear that maybe love isn’t for you. Maybe you missed your shot. Maybe if you hadn’t been hurt, if you had chosen differently, if you had been better, you’d be the one in white, twirling under the fairy lights.

Comparison has a way of distorting reality. You see someone’s highlight reel and forget that their journey isn’t perfect either. What if their story includes heartbreak, healing, and waiting just like yours? What if your past pain isn’t a punishment but preparation?

You scroll past yet another proposal, and instead of congratulations, your heart whispers, God, did You forget me? But in Song of Solomon 8:4, we’re reminded: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Translation? Stop forcing timelines that aren’t yours. Love, when led by God, is never late.

We act like life is a race where we all have the same starting line and finish at the same time. But in John 21:21-22, when Peter asked Jesus about another disciple’s future, Jesus basically said, Why are you worried about him? Focus on following Me.

That hit different.

Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s. God has a unique plan for you, and comparing your timeline to someone else’s is like getting mad that a sunflower isn’t blooming at the same time as a rose. Different seasons. Different purposes.

Breaking Free from the Comparison Cycle

1. Heal, Don’t Hurry. You can’t rush into love just to prove something to yourself or others. Healing from past hurt means embracing God’s timing, not running ahead of it.

2. Gratitude Over Envy. The quickest way to ruin your blessings? Wishing they looked like someone else’s. Focus on what’s good in your life.

3. Trust the Author of Love. If God has love in store for you, He’s writing a story far greater than anything comparison can convince you you’re missing out on.

Your story is still unfolding. Stop comparing chapters and trust the Author.

A Prayer to Let Go of Comparison and Fear

Lord, I release my fears about love and marriage into Your hands. Help me to stop comparing my journey to others and trust that You are working in my life. Heal my heart from past hurt and remind me that Your timing is perfect. Amen.

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